Enigmatic Fuckup

Its comin round again, that point where I tell everyone im gonna see a doctor and try some new meds or talking to someone,

I doubt it as the thoughts leave my mouth, doubt it will happen, all those thoughts roll back,

The neverending question of am I capable of even being happy, if its not at this job or in this house or in this place will i ever feel happiness that lasts, does the rain in my mind ever stop.

Loyal readers and listeners will probably smile to themselves and know im listening to the same old music and longing for the bottle of whiskey, an enigmatic fuckup that I am, and its hard to not reach out for a friend, im not even sure I have many left, and thats probably good for them.

Hello darkness my old friend.

The On Top Feeling

I heard a quote today it was from a Horologist and was a sundial phrase (apparently all sundials have phrases..) it translated from latin to roughly, every one hurts and the last one kills, life has been good this week, a few things in my second job are going real great so thats good, I am however awaiting my downfall, as I know it will come but I am acheiving as much as possible while im on the summit, and it feels really good.

So I suppose if you wanted to hang out while im in a good mood get at me cos its now 😂

Ocean and Water

Disappearing thoughts and recurring themes

The imagination of your feelings are the latest thing to haunt my dreams

You use different words when we speak but they all are the same to me

Your abrasive exterior is as rough as reef to the smooth sea

Your approach is as usual and as its always been

Crumbs on the floor crumbs on which my stupid mind can feed

Follow your trail like a lamb to the slaughter

You have everything that scares me and I have everything you think you need

Nonchalantly giving away insight like it was ocean and water