Someone Once Asked..

Someone once asked me what motivates me, this is my response. Thoughts?

 

I am motivated by many things, in many situations. I think anyone is. I am motivated when confronted to not talk and to attack with a primal force, and attack until its necessary to not attack anymore.

I am however able to love, so as far as where I would have fit 1000’s of years ago in the tribe, probably the manliest forager there was…

I am motivated by the same things everyone is in everyday life I suppose, I am motivated by the want to be famous, whether we believe it or not, everyone is, everyone wants people to listen to their stories or share their witty Facebook status’ a million times, I however would like it to be doing something I love, I think…

As I roll through this in my head, maybe not, it wasn’t so long ago I wanted to conquer the Graphic Design world and then at around 75% complete threw it all away and blamed my mum dying. I tend to use what feels good at the time and get the idea lodged in my brain that this is what I want to do, and then to hide the shame of wanting to be successful, by tying it back to art… Or, flipside, I am of the opinion that millions of people die every day, now they may be old, young black or white and generally a million different things in between and with the wonders of medical science sometimes more than one of these things in their life… However if you have a talent, and don’t use it, you’re wasting your existence or experience as whatever being this crazy consciousness is…

If you get sucked into a life of made up numbers on a screen or some old man telling you to kill strangers in a different country or some board of directors convince you to die breathing caustic in all day and night, and you don’t do anything about what makes you special, then your fucking wasting it.

It’s as if with talent comes responsibility, I don’t know about you man, but when you meet someone that is talented, can shred guitar or sing or act, and they always say ‘nah it’s not for me, it’ll never work’ that is frustrating as fuck. Now I’m not saying if you’re good at murder do that, but if you fail to do or fail to try what makes you feel good like your life depends on it, then fuck you.

I’m Motivated by my kids having an interesting story and connection with me later in their lives, I’ve played the future in my head and even though I may not see it, for whatever reason, I don’t want to be ol’ mate that worked at Worsley for 30 years and got cancer, I want to be able to drink like a fish with my girls’ husbands or wives, with what will sound like preposterous stories of imitated grandeur of my old days, the drugs, violence and immunity it felt like we had. In my head, I’m working for the best possible story, I’m not sure what my consciousness is about, I am not sure if it is even real, I’ve been rolling nothing but selfish thoughts around lately, of what my life is, who the people are in it, and again its probably influenced by pop culture, but where is my Hank Moody Story, where’s my Karen, how far can I push what I have and still do what I like? I’m motivated to find out how far I can push Normal Society and still function. Do I have the balls to leave everything around me behind and disappear across the country on a whirlwind of drugs, booze and women, probably… right now? No… but again I am the most overthinking impulsive person ever, I will fully explore a crazy idea in my head.. days, week, years, and the minute I see an opening, I take it.

I think that that is a huge reason for my personality not just in relationships or home life, but in passion It’s the reason I have half a dozen domains purchased, half built websites and ideas, for the same reason as above I’m an overthinking impulsive talent chaser.

4 thoughts on “Someone Once Asked..

  1. I feel like I can totally relate to this! 👌🏼 i.e. getting back into my business..I think sometimes as well, it’s the dream/thought of what the outcome of your hard work/ideas/actions will create. This dream/thought then becomes so exciting that its super motivating!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bro, this feeling is an everyday thing. I feel this down to the core and felt like a reflection of myself actually wrote it, we live in a generation of thinkers, and possibly over thinkers, we want to make a mark on this world and have been raised to believe we can do and be whatever we want. Which we can, but at the same time, it takes time and hard work which some of us aren’t prepared for and believe we deserve it now without that hard effort that comes with it. Bro all in all I love this, Feel this, and wish for you to succeed in the dreams you have for the future. You have talent and deserve every bit of praise you get for your work. Keep at it, the time will come where you look at your girls in the future and know, you did everything in your power to be where you and they are at that time. Embrace your vision brother

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you’re too kind brother, we def have an opportunity to do something, and like I said almost have a responsibility to not waste it, our generation is slowly waking but just not quick enough for our liking, someone once said ‘take what you want or be prepared for leftovers’ that resonates hard with me..

      Like

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